There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
