i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
where does the pee come out of this thing
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
