We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
