Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize