drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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