I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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