if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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