Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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