Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
one might say we're banned from that church
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
