why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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