Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
