God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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