it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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