She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
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Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
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I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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