So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
