so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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