found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my vag is so smooth its legendary
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize