I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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