im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
