I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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