I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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