i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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