I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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