I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
there is glitter all over my balls
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