I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
