i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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