i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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