I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
