The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize