i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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