We won't sleep together?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
