omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
