I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
