THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
