yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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