Girls should come with a carfax report
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's rum buckets o'clock
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
