I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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