I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
