I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
