i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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