I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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