we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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