i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
