just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
