There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
