Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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