How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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