i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How external is "for external use only"?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize