so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
