Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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