A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
In other news, I just burned my penis
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
