Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
