Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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