I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
