everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
