I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
