the condom got lost in my hair
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Everything about him screamed your future.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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