You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
