Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
