we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
