You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
