We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
