You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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