just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she told me i tasted like america
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
