$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
