If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Randomize
