Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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