Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
