Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
