New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
