at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
